#5

Older Polish lady: “What is this Muenster Swiss cheese you have?”
Me: “We have Muenster and we have Swiss. They’re two different cheeses.”
[We go back and forth like this a few more times until she gets the concept.]
Her: “I would like to try the Swiss.”
Me: “I’ll cut you a slice.”
Her [holding the slice an inch from her lips]: “Is it salty?”
[She tries the cheese before I can answer.]
Her: “I’d like a half-pound chunk of the Swiss.”
[I eyeball and slice a half-pound chunk of the Swiss. It weighs up at 0.52 pounds, not bad.]
Her: “Now I would like a half-pound chunk of the Muenster.”
[I eyeball and slice a half-pound chunk of the Muenster. It weighs up at 0.40 pounds, a little under.]
Her: “No no no! I wanted a half-pound!”
Me: “This is about a half-pound.”
Her: “That’s 0.4! I need 0.5 or 0.51!”
Me: “Ma’am, when I slice you a chunk of cheese, I’m just eyeballing it. It’s very difficult to cut exactly 0.50 pounds.”
Her: “I need twice that amount!”
Me: “Twice that amount would be more like a pound.”
Her: “That’s what I need.”
Me: “Well, the rest of the Muenster here happens to weigh about a pound.”
Her: “Open me a new package!”
Me: “I already have a pound of Muenster right here.”
Her: “Take it out of that plastic wrap and then weigh it again.”
Me: “I promise you, it’s one pound.”
Her: “Take it out of the wrap.”
[I take it out of the wrap, and it weighs up at 1.00 pounds.]
Me: “It’s still one pound.”
Her: “Now, give me that whole piece, but cut off a finger’s width from it.”

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About meatcountermadness

I got a job working behind a meat counter. Some of the things I hear people say there are pretty good. Email me: meatcountermadness@gmail.com
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