#121

[Throughout the day, multiple coworkers complain about how cold it is in the store.]
Drunk man, clearly smelling of booze, with female companion who looks straight out of an episode of Intervention: “Can I put this stuff down? My arms are about to fall off!”
[He puts a half gallon of apple cider and two small containers of vegetables on the meat counter.]
Drunk man: “Have you had this cider? It’s incredible!”
Me: “Yeah, I’ve had it a couple times. It’s good.”
Drunk man: “It’s the best! But not as good as Yates Cider Mill! But that’s really far away. What is it, like 23 and Dequindre or something? OK, let’s get a couple of these steaks…”
[Meanwhile,] nearby lady, to coworker: “I’ll take some of the Italian steak.”
Drunk man: “How do you cook it? I used to be a chef.”
Nearby lady: “Oh, I just fry it up with peppers and onions.”
Drunk man: “You don’t bread it? That’s how you’re supposed to cook it.”
Nearby lady: “No, it’s for my son. He’s really picky about what he eats…”
Drunk man: “You’re supposed to bread it! Woo, I’m sweating my balls off!”
[Several minutes later, after I’ve already moved on to my next customer…]
Me to coworker: “Hey, can you tell that guy at the register that he left his stuff here on the counter?”
[Intervention lady appears and begins searching the wrong section of the counter.]
Intervention lady: “We forgot something? Where?”
Drunk guy: “What? What did we forget?”
Me: “Your cider, and these vegetables.”
Drunk guy: “What? We had cider?”

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About meatcountermadness

I got a job working behind a meat counter. Some of the things I hear people say there are pretty good. Email me: meatcountermadness@gmail.com
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