Author Archives: meatcountermadness

About meatcountermadness

I got a job working behind a meat counter. Some of the things I hear people say there are pretty good. Email me: meatcountermadness@gmail.com

#146

Me, answering the phone: “Meat department.” Woman: “Yes, my husband told me that he heard on the radio that there’s been a turkey recall, and people are bringing turkey back to the store.” Me: “Right, I’ve been following that story. … Continue reading

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#145

[The Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil” is playing.] Woman: “Do you hear that noise? What is that?” Other woman: “It just keeps repeating!”

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#144

Customer woman: “I’d like a pound of the beef fajita mix.” Me: “So, the other day a customer called in to complain that she had bought the fajita mix, didn’t realize that it was raw meat, took it home and … Continue reading

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#143

German woman on phone: “How long are your slices of Italian steak? I want to make rouladen.” Butcher: “They’re about 8 inches.” Woman: “I’m from Germany, so I don’t how long that is. I only know the metric system. Let … Continue reading

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#142

Customer woman: “Did you grow up on a farm?” Me: “No, I grew up in the city of Detroit, actually!” Customer woman: “Oh. You seem like you grew up on a farm.”

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#141

Coworker: “74!” Customer: “Here!” Other lady: “I have 74!” Coworker: “Ma’am, that’s not possible. I’ve already got 74.” Other lady: “Well then I have 73!”

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#140

Woman with elaborate pink butterfly design drawn across her entire face: “I want some salmon, but this looks a little pale. Do you have any in the back that’s a little more pink?” [I retrieve more salmon from the back.] … Continue reading

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