#139

Biracial coworker to white coworker: “This is my mom.” [Whispering] “She’s white, like you.”
Mom, whispering: “You’re embarrassing me.”

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#138

[Older couple is rummaging through her purse for several minutes.]
Me: “22!”
Husband: “We have 22, but we’re looking here…we can’t find…she had it written down somewhere…do you have any, uh…it’s Spanish sausage?”
Me: “Chorizo?”
Couple: “THAT’S IT!”

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#137

Woman: “I need 10 pounds of ground chuck, divided into 1-pound bags.”*
[Coworker bags up 10 1-pound bags of ground chuck.]
Woman: “Is that ground round?”
Coworker: “No, this is ground chuck, like you asked.”
Woman: “No, I said ground round!”
[Coworker begins bagging up 10 1-pound bags of ground round.]
Woman to coworker #2: “Is he new here?”
Coworker #2: “Who?”
Woman, whispering: “The white boy.”

*Note: This is a ridiculous request, and there was a lot of people waiting.

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#136

Coworker: “51? 52?…Ma’am, what number do you have?”
Customer: “56.”
Coworker: “Does anyone have a number lower than 56?”
Other lady: “I have 57!”
Coworker: “Uh…OK…I got 56.”

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#135

Man walking past counter: “If it ain’t a man’s world, don’t call me. If it ain’t a man’s world, don’t call me. If it ain’t a man’s world, don’t call me. If it ain’t a man’s world, don’t call me. If it ain’t a man’s world, don’t call me…”

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#134

Customer lady, making special effort to impress with her (incorrect) pronunciation of ‘Havarti’: “I’ll have some of the Danish Havarti.”
[I begin slicing the Havarti.]
Customer lady, looking at my first two slices: “Will those two slices mesh together at all?”
Me: “Uh, no. We put paper in between the cheese slices.”
Customer lady, smiling and chipper: “Oh good! Because if I get home and they’re stuck together, I’d have to drive all the way back here and return them!”

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#133

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”
[Woman #1 looks to Woman #2. Woman #2 begins whispering in her ear.]
Woman #1: “Just tell him!”
[Woman #2 refuses and keeps whispering.]
Woman #1: “Just tell him. He’s right there!”
[Woman #2 gives up and motions for me to follow her toward the chicken.]
Woman #2: “I want 12 drumsticks, and then…do you have the upper thighs?”
Me: “No, we only have the thighs in packs, and they’re more expensive. We do have the leg quarters here though, which is the drumstick and the thigh together, and I could cut those into two pieces for you.”
Woman #2: “OK, well give me 8 of the leg quarters, and then give me 2 more drumsticks.”
Me: “OK, so I’ll cut up those 8 leg quarters, so you’ll get 8 drumsticks and 8 thighs, plus the 2 extra drumsticks, for a total of 10 drumsticks.”
Woman #2: “No, I want 12 drumsticks.”
Me: “Well, do you want me to cut up 12 leg quarters, so you get 12 drumsticks and 12 thighs?”
Woman #2: “Plus the 10 drumsticks.”
Me: “Wait, you want 12 drumsticks total, right?”
Woman #2: “Yes.”
Me: “So I’ll cut up 12 leg quarters, and you’ll get 12 drumsticks and 12 thighs, OK?”
Woman #2: “So that would be 24 pieces total?”
Me: “Yep.”
Woman #2: “OK.”

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