Category Archives: Uncategorized

Me, answering the phone: “Meat department.” Woman: “Yes, my husband told me that he heard on the radio that there’s been a turkey recall, and people are bringing turkey back to the store.” Me: “Right, I’ve been following that story. … Continue reading →

[The Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil” is playing.] Woman: “Do you hear that noise? What is that?” Other woman: “It just keeps repeating!”

Customer woman: “I’d like a pound of the beef fajita mix.” Me: “So, the other day a customer called in to complain that she had bought the fajita mix, didn’t realize that it was raw meat, took it home and … Continue reading →

German woman on phone: “How long are your slices of Italian steak? I want to make rouladen.” Butcher: “They’re about 8 inches.” Woman: “I’m from Germany, so I don’t how long that is. I only know the metric system. Let … Continue reading →

Customer woman: “Did you grow up on a farm?” Me: “No, I grew up in the city of Detroit, actually!” Customer woman: “Oh. You seem like you grew up on a farm.”

Coworker: “74!” Customer: “Here!” Other lady: “I have 74!” Coworker: “Ma’am, that’s not possible. I’ve already got 74.” Other lady: “Well then I have 73!”

Woman with elaborate pink butterfly design drawn across her entire face: “I want some salmon, but this looks a little pale. Do you have any in the back that’s a little more pink?” [I retrieve more salmon from the back.] … Continue reading →

Biracial coworker to white coworker: “This is my mom.” [Whispering] “She’s white, like you.” Mom, whispering: “You’re embarrassing me.”

[Older couple is rummaging through her purse for several minutes.] Me: “22!” Husband: “We have 22, but we’re looking here…we can’t find…she had it written down somewhere…do you have any, uh…it’s Spanish sausage?” Me: “Chorizo?” Couple: “THAT’S IT!”

Woman: “I need 10 pounds of ground chuck, divided into 1-pound bags.”* [Coworker bags up 10 1-pound bags of ground chuck.] Woman: “Is that ground round?” Coworker: “No, this is ground chuck, like you asked.” Woman: “No, I said ground … Continue reading →